One and Only.

You know what the greatest part about having a pet is? No matter how much you cry to them, complain to them, or talk to them about your problems and your thoughts they'll never ever ignore you and disagree with you anything you have to say. They just stare back at you puzzled and either meow at your or just bark at you, i guess thats their way of letting you know they agree with what you are saying. Its amazing how your life or your relationship can be told through a song or a movie as cheesy as this sounds I would like to think of my relationship as the one told through The Notebook and my life well you could seriously write a book about what I have been through during my short 22 years of life but if I had to pick a movie it would be Vanilla Sky.

I've always had the feeling that I would never live past 30 scary thing is I've actually already wrote down a list of songs that I want played at my funeral, I know life is short and all I want to do is enjoy what comes to me even if it is arguing, working, getting a ticket, break ups, heart break, disappointment, hurting myself, bruised knees, broken bones, whatever, I've always tried to enjoy it ever since my dad has his seizure. I still lose my cool from time to time but really who doesn't? The bad part about this for me though is that when I lose my cool people, my family, co-workers, even someone very special to me thinks that I'm absolutely the scariest guy to be around and its a shitty feeling. People think just because I'm not talking or smiling I'm pissed off when really thats just me thats who I am, I'm actually a very happy person now that I finally have someone in my life but even with that I don't know if they are even willing to stick around.

I hate disappointment its all I've known in my life I don't think I could handle failing at one more thing. My dad has almost died on me 3 times already, my aunt destroyed my family, my cousins used to really have it out for me when I was a kid, things like that can really mess you up when you get older you just feel discouraged when you give your heart to someone and all you hope for is the best, you hope that they will just accept you and love for you for who you are, how you think, how you act, and what you've been through.